Love Is Love​/​/​Return To Dust

by Code Orange Kids

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credits

released 20 November 2012

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Track Name: Flowermouth (The Leech)
i have never felt as empty as i feel today

even when the moments beauty fades in and away.

thats all it is. a moment.

and the images creep back into the forefront of my brain

from picking up the pieces of unearthing devotion. reenergizing dead feelings.

i can see the flowers growing out of your mouth

while the cancer in your brain begs to get out

and ill try to understand (your) pain again

by laying my body on the fire

by accepting myself as the enemy

it doesnt take much to recognize that these leeches aren't my friends

and it gets harder when everything goes through a formula filter (your head)

erase the ones i love the most so i can bleed in peace.

relieve the poison from my tongue

embrace a reverie.
Track Name: Around My Neck//On My Head
"we have the same feelings that we have had"

i knew what was different when my skin didn't crack.

my callouses didn't burn.

my stomach didn't sink.

i just internalized the loss. embraced the weakness.

toe to toe with "one day at a time"

it has become as routine as watching you sink into cold/dead/skin

the void where that fire went

or where the last one rested its skull. fucked.

or the next one

the rope hanging from my fathers hotel window

around. my. neck. on. my. head.
Track Name: Sleep (I've Been Slipping)
its the nerves that keep this breeding

and sometimes when I'm sleeping i can hear it breathing in my dreams

"it’s them pills I took, to bring it off, she said"

april is coming more easy and when it rains it pours

but it knows the reality that once we break in certain ways nothing is ever the same.

the stitches are already in place.

and another day is over

but the floor still feels the same. and I'm not ready to change

I'm not afraid to die

but its the rush that keeps me alive……..
Track Name: Liars//Trudge
as serenity floods // driving my brain in circles.

humility reminds me to just let the composure be.

"god grant me the power to know the things i can change

the things i can't

and the difference"

but this pain has a face. vilified. unstricken

deeper than what my soul can give // higher than my mind

sharing all of my late night testimonies while your tongues touch

as the rat creeps past my eyes, onto your legs

dragging my mourning threw the streets of our town

first impressions // second glances at souls you'd think you know

have you ever dreamed you would wake up dead? id swear that i have

but my word is temporary residence of a minds eye.

wandering

endless fucking trudge.



recognition vs the ability to let go

of the places and people that destroy me the most

in ways there is no rhythm or reason.

and in that lies the sickness

you. just. know.
Track Name: Colors (Into Nothing)
the love fades against a colors change

the loss shakes against the cold

tearing pieces from my decrepit skin

just to try and keep you warm.
Track Name: Nothing (The Rat)
break me into something worth it

more then the heads of statues

even if the trend reconciles itself i will still wake up wishing i didn't

so maybe instead ill choke on these anti-anxiety pills

so i don't have to swallow the flavor of life floating away

in your hands against his chest or my head against the bathroom floor

but every morning is a clean slate

and my back starts to break. my face starts to change.

alignment of the way i act and the way i am, because

in

my

mind

its an emptiness.

multi-foliate

an abundance of layers buried out of necessity

a laundry list of accomplishments

stage the disease

control the crisis

sell your soul to words that mean nothing.
Track Name: Roots are Certain//Sky is Empty
i keep forgetting the things that i have felt so easily

with the wind it all brushes off of me

into the holes in my teeth

so ill spend the rest of my life in structures and colors

the shape of what your face used to mean

in a box

laden with the ones still here

cutting palms on open trees

your on the edge of something.

the roots are certain // the sky is empty
Track Name: Choices (Love is Love)
there are no mistakes. only decisions.

the choices that you choose to make.

and the night that you saw them choose (the way i watch you choose)

you described it as a "physical pain" in your spine

i watched your spirit break

i felt the collapse of my mental complex as my head hit my hands.

i would rather be alone forever then suffer "out of body experiences"

a pestilence.

it resonates in these waves of human garbage that frequent my memory.

images of floating bodies, scathed,

soiled.

replaying in my heads airwaves.

so i will just lay back down.

in this bed i buried inside of your house.

a hollow hole that i have dug for myself.

a home that i have settled into.

because i've been slipping into nothing

and these thoughts are worthless

as long as actions keep showing the same signs of

"if it looks dead and it smells dead…."

its probably fucking dead.
Track Name: Bloom (Return to Dust)
there is a certain way we move these chains

like a watch in a box that doesn't tell time but instead just gives it

it all starts to bleed into miles that separate

or phone calls that aren't on pace

like the chemicals my grandfather gave me

disarrayed and misconstructed

the wrong blend

but my only vice is the will to give in

to the only feeling that has ever felt worth it

excuse-less // trying to figure out whats worth keeping

when i don't hate anyone else even half as much as i hate myself.

it numbs in the never ending quiet that burns my eyelids

learning to learn between the lines of

"i want you to be free"

i want to return to the water.

to drink in the sex//sleaze//mud//greed

put a gun in the mouth of the sky and just (breathe)

or to where i can bathe in my own conscience.

sometimes i wake up in the ER with a needle in my arm

or in the back of a mangled car

in the silence before the light comes

but it always ends the same with a flood coursing through my veins

trying to find words to lay out the things i could never say

the way the world picks at my brain. how i can't watch you leave.

blood is blood

but as everything comes and everyone goes..

love is love.

return to dust